Marriage - A toughy...
When you are single you hear people tell you that marriage is tough, and that it's hard. You hear married people go on about how it's the hardest thing in the world, but it's all worth it in the end. You hear them talk about how their spouse is their best friend and that they love them with everything, you also hear them say over and over again how they fought or argued, or didn't agree, or just aren't talking.
Marriage is a conundrum.
Well I've been married for 3 years now. I will not say it's been an easy 3 years, or that it's been a wonderful 3 years. If I did, I would be lying. After $1,000's of dollars in counseling, and countless hours of tears and heartache and really tough moments, I will say we're still alive and committed.
We have not arrived at a euphorious point in our marriage where everything is perfect, but I will say that our marriage is beautiful. Besides the fact that my wife is beautiful and wonderfully made for me. Besides that she is patient and kind to me when I deserve the door. Besides that she is absolutely gorgeous.
Our marriage is beautiful. I know how hard it is, yet I know how satisfying it is for me to work for it. My wife and I were doing something hard together the other day, I don't remember what it was, but she said I'm glad we are doing this because we are doing something hard together. I remember thinking, we do something hard together everyday, we stay married. Not as a begrudgedly married, but as I am faithfully committed to you Meredith. The even when I don't like you I will stand here beside you holding your hand and fighting for you and our marriage because I know this is worth it.
I said worth it. Worth it for me to say even when every selfish ounce of me tells me to do for 'ME' I must do for 'WE'. Everyday lived is iron sharpening iron. As a man, I understand that my wife is radiantly the face of God, and for me to live with her means I live with someone who will show me daily what it is to live for Christ, and to live sacrificially. I must love sacrificially. When it becomes hard, that is when I'm not doing those things. It is when my selfishness and my hardened heart quits fearing God, and begins seeking his own gratification... My own gratification...
I know that communication is the BEST skill we have been given, and to communicate with one-another is the MOST important, and to communicate efficiently. To be able to get past the hi's, bye's, how are you's, and excuse me's. To get deep into the mix of raw emotions, and to be able to say what's on your heart and mind without hindrance. You MUST be able to lavash the Truth, and communicate through the mud of insecurities. We must be able to laugh... Laugh HARD together and forget the pain of 2 minutes ago, and focus on the incredible person God has placed in your life for the rest of your life. We must be able to kiss-and-make-up, and be able to choose NOT to hold back on the last piece of pie. We also must be able to hear when your-person is speaking to you, and listen attentively and love through the lack of understanding, and love even harder when you do.
Man, marriage is hard, you are undoubtedly the ONLY person who hear everything. You are for sure going to hurt feelings and cry from pain. Yet... It's worth it. Bizarre...
As much as I type here... You will NEVER understand fully what I am talking about until you are blessed with the crimson covered reality of marriage.
My marriage is Hard. My marriage is Worth it.
I hope you don't read this and think I'm unhappy in my marriage, I just needed to put words to my love for my wife. Love that can NEVER be explained until you can understand it. You can't understand my love for my wife until you have been through what I have been through with her. You can not understand ever what I've been through with her, but you could understand a semblance of it by being married faithfully yourself. That's about as close as you'll get. Even the term "I Love You" means nothing of what it did as a single person. You won't understand how Christ loves you the church, you as a believer but you can start to understand it by being married. You can see how even when we deserve nothing, He continues pursuing us. We men should love our wives as Christ loves the church.
Single Men - You won't know how to do this, you will not succeed the first - 1,293rd go around. But every time you get over yourself and pursue her one more time in love, it is one baby step closer towards the perfection that is Christ.
Single Women - If you don't have a gentleman willing to do this, you don't have a gentleman who will be in it for the long haul.
My marriage will be hard after this, my marriage will probably be harder than what I've seen thus far after this, but I also know that it will be more worth it also!
Be prepared to give a reason for your faith. James 3:16
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