SIN how I loathe thee...

I lay here in bed tonight and I am not sure where to begin.
I know that I have wished for the past several months that my prayer life was better... Or even existant.  Not that I didn't pray, but I didn't have passion in my prayer, and I didn't know exactly what I was praying for, I was just saying stuff, my heart was just seemingly still, and my words were just flowing out of my mouth like clock work.  When I read the Bible I didn't know what I was reading for.  I didn't have drive I was just doing it just to do it.  I would pray for God to light a fire, and I thought He would break me and bring me to my knees through an action that I would do, but no that didn't, He blew my mind in other ways, in ways I wish that it would have just happened... differently.
What does that mean?
I suppose I just wish things were different.  I think back...  I suppose I was never 'pure' I remember every since I can remember that I had something to hide, that I was corrupt, that I was a 'bad' kid.  Now we won't go through the whole gory details of what that means or why I thought that, but I definitely knew that what I thought or what I was going through at the time was wrong.  I remember going to sunday school as a kid and them teaching us about sin, I remember learning about adam and eve and how they basically corrupted the world, 'not that I blame them' because I'm quite certain I wouldn't have done any better.  But I wish that things were different.  I wish that SIN would have never been introduced into the world.
I say that now because my heart HURTS!
My heart cries out to God tonight because of what sin is doing in seemingly every one of my friends lives.  I have some really great friends, all of which love the Lord SO SO SO SO TRULY!  I know there hearts, if you know me, you know that I am not a surface level person, I love peoples lives, I love to get into them and dig deep and love them for everything they have to offer.  I don't want to love someone for who they want me to love them for, I want to love them for who God loves them for, which is EVERYTHING!  It's a scary concept at times especially when you start to see and feel how Christ sees and feels towards us.  I am not sinless by any means, I suck daily, and I figured that's how God would get my attention, through my own sin...  But apparently I have become numb towards that, but He has now used the sins of my friends to grab my attention and bring me to tears tonight.
As I am writing I hear this song in my head, and it brings tears to my eyes.  
Sidewalk Prophets - These are the Words I would say.
Be strong in the Lord and,
Never give up hope,
You're going to do great things,
I already know,
God's got His hand on you so,
Don't live life in fear,
Forgive and forget,
But don't forget why you're here,
Take your time and pray,
These are the words I would say.
I suppose they come to my head because I want hope.  I know that my hope should be in the Lord, and not even that my life isn't going wonderfully right now, but the pain of the world is killing my heart.
I can honestly say that everyone of my best friends is going through stuff that I wouldn't wish on my worse enemies.  Stupid sin, that is breaking God's heart, and just dumb circumstances that are life changing.
The devil is a brilliant Con-Artist that is ruining peoples lives:
Pornography - I hate it, it's ruining peoples lives daily, it's a dumb addiction that just leads you sinning more and more.  It has grasped so many peoples lives and it will NOT LET IT GO!
Homosexuality - URGH!  As most of you know I have struggled with this one, and it sucks, I have freedom in Christ, and through Him.  But at this point some of my very best friends are over their heads in it and are fighting for air!  Lord SAVE THEM!  This is one of the biggest things on my hearts.
Drugs - People just yearn for something to relieve the pain and get their minds off the reality of their lives, and they find something that will do just that.  It sucks, it's rotten.  It is debilitating.
Adultery - Having sex with someone you love, before your married...  It sucks seeing this.  I hate it, so many young men and women just do it, they know it's wrong, but it just sucks seeing it.  I hate it.  I wish that they could see that it's NOT filling the desires of their heart it's only temporarily covering them up.  This is another thing that just hurts...  HURTS for me to see.
Alcohol -  Another one of those things that just fill the void or cover the pain.  Just a quick fix to real problems.
Then I have the friends who just are hurting because of just hard times, I hate seeing it, I hate hearing about people struggling because of money issues or they lost their job,s or they lost their homes, or they lost both of them!  It sucks!  I want them all to have peace and joy.
SIN! How I loathe thee...
I suppose everyone is struggling with something, that's why we have the hope of Jesus Christ who did come and die on the cross to forgive us of those and we can live in freedom from it.  But what seems to me that all of my friends are suffering immensely from it.   And it doesn't even seem like they want out.  They like it.
I know for most of them, they have been looking for something that is missing in their life.  Something that they miss or have desired for all their lives, and now that some guy/girl has come along they seem to find it filling this yearning desire and they fill it with that.  IT SUCKS!  THen because of that sin they are overwhelmed with that so the pain and guilt of it is being filled with drugs/alcohol/sex and it SUCKS EVEN MORE!  I just want this to be different!
God Save Us, Please.
I don't really know what else to say.  This is my heart this evening.  I just wish that everyone would see that God can handle anything you bring to Him, trust Him.
Well goodnight all...
-josh :