What better way to FAITH, than to FREE FALL!?

I feel like for the past few days, I have been really burdened by my friends, which have been good, it has been something that I haven't felt in quite a while.  Which not that the burden is good, but the fact that I feel anything is awesome!
I think since I've been married, I have been consumed with my wife, and our relationship, and just trying to figure out our living together, and how to love her the way she needs to be loved.  Not that any part of that is bad, just it has been a consuming part of my life.  It's something that I am sure will NEVER be perfect, but it is something that must be maintained and tweaked.  I feel like I can suck at it at times, but over all I think that I will get the hang of it eventually.  I think every bit of me loving her, is my relationship with God.  At this point, my relationship with the Lord has been about me and how I am doing, and God is changing that to not is it about me but about the people around me.  I love this idea, because my self-centered relationship with God has been very tunnel-visioned.
At this time though, I see myself now having to see the big picture, that the people closest to me are in great need of the effort I am putting into myself.  God will maintain me, I need not worry about it.  If I can focus on my wife and my friends and love them and pray for them, then that leaves me to faith, that God is taking good care of me.  What better way to fill faith than to free fall!?
When I look out into the world... I see eyes filled with tears, eyes that yearn for the love of the Lord, for the compassion of Chist, and the mercy and grace of his blood.  I see arms wide open for anything that will give it to them.  Unfortunately I see the devil being quicker to their needs than Christians being there as the body of Christ.  Spreading the love and sympathy.  With the ears to listen to their problems, with the arms to wrap around and love them, with legs to carry them when they are unable to carry themselves.  Instead the devil is offering the world to them, and their becomes a point when that looks soo much better than any pain ever will.  Even as our fellow Christians fall into this, we as their brothers and sisters in Christ aren't anywhere near determined enough to quit looking inward at ourself, and outward at them drowning in sin.  Where is our Sword!?  ...  Just as I suspected by our bed, on our night stand.  Why aren't we bringing it out into the world, to fight sin!?  Why aren't we using it to slay corruptness!?
I know for me it is because I have been looking at myself for far too long, I have been worried about where I step and what I say, and how I am doing personally, thinking that I need to make myself presentable before I could ever step out into faith.  But I have come to think, that I step out in faith by doing what God has asked me to do, not worrying about what I am presenting!
This is where I'm at today.
-josh