Concrete Evidence

So, after today, I have evidence for myself, that I am a selfish individual....
First of all, I have a picture... of myself on my own blog!?  Well I could be a bit conceited, but is that really that bad!?  I mean I could put a picture of a cross up there or some really cool verse, and that would be interesting... RIGHT?  but then I would be held to the standards of that verse, and if I ever said anything slightly inappropriate I would then be judged for well, say something inappropriate.

I will for sure get someone who is like, "Why do you care what people think?" 

Well as for me I am a person who is not naive about the fact that I do care what people think about me because, well I do, it's life, it's how I am it's ME!

So that brings me back to my point, ME! 

So maybe I am selfish, or conceited, I do though love the Lord God with my entire mind body and soul!  I am supposed to be humbling myself, and I feel as if I do, but it gets hard you know?  When you are humbled or attempt to humble yourself, and you get down to that level of humbleness, then you are there, and I feel like it's a constant attempt to be humble, or more humble than before, because in order to be humbled your, humbleness has to go up making your selfishness go down, and it's a constant battle! URGH!!!!

Yeah, so also, I am a very jealous person, I hate it, I get jealous over the most ridiculous crap!  Which, thank you Lord, I am so much better than I was before in the sense that it doesn't take me out for an entire day or longer, it's usually just a few minutes, then I gain my composure.  With that, it is just dumb, and it has quite a bit to do with just personal feelings, which I should not be holding on to!

Then, on top of all of that, I have this 'person' in which I love completely and she loves me completely,but I can't commit to! What the Crap!?  It is all because I can't convince myself that I won't hurt her, or she won't hurt me.  Stupid insecurities, and crap.

So I feel like this is a big dramatic post, because in all actuality my life is amazing, the Lord is good, and He is faithfully taking care of me!  Which is soooo GOOD!

Now even more so, my AHDH in full force, or I just have turrets.  sweet. 

Today has been a long day, Legacy Christian is cool, they are a fun group, my boss was kind of all in my case today, but it's alright, I smile and nod because why Lauren?

We are interns!

Oh yeah so you know I am an intern! :)

HOW SPLENDID!

(and I told my boss I would do it another year.)

Have a Great Night ALL!!!

I am currently listening to Jimmy Needham - The Gospel

Check IT OUT!

Peace, Love and Chicken Grease!
-josh