Scrammbled Emotions

Why is it the Devil always kicks you when you're down?  I mean I wasn't even down, I was up!  But it hasn't changed the fact that He totally knocked my legs out from under me.  Today I have been in a pretty good mood.  It's like one little sentence can put a world of pain in my heart.  It's like jealousy and envy takes over and I am then stuck in this 'funk' that consumes my thoughts.  I like to just give things to God, but it's like until I sit down and write it all out, and just seek the Lord about it, it won't happen.  I am sitting there waiting for peace to come along in 'some other way.'  Then with that, a near and dear friend of mine I fear is being hurt by my 'actions.'  Which totally makes me feel like a jerk.  I wish people would just understand that I don't ever intend to hurt anyone, I'm just not ready for any kind of relationship other than friendships.  I don't really want to date.  It's not where God has me right now, we are still working on "ME" right now.  Which I understand that will be an on-going process until forever gets here!  Yet, at this point I know that the only way I would date someone is if I 'WAS' for certain it is what GOD wanted me to do.  I don't feel that way about anyone really.  So that lays me between a rock and a hard spot.

I quit dating about 3 years ago.  Called it all off until I found out what God had for me. Not so much, "I kissed dating good-bye", just took a break from it, then I dated someone for about 6 months off and on a year later, then have been single for a year now.  I have been struggling with who I am, and just attempting wholeheartedly to find my identity in Christ alone.  It has been an on-going battle.  I am happily single, and it's ok with me, but when I do have people that want to date me and I seemingly get an ultimatum, it kinda sucks.

Expression 101:


So why today?  Why is it that when I feel as if I am having a 'good' day that the Devil can have such a big effect on me.  I realize I am not perfect, Lord do I know.  Yet, when I try to give everything over to the Lord, it hurts the most when the Devil can get some sort of foot hold or emotion out of me.  I know I need to quit masticating over it, and let God have it, because at this point, no glory is going to God, just the fact that I'm having a pity party all by my self, and allowing the Devil to just control me. 

This is my day, I am going to read and pray for a while, then possibly go to bed!  I'm looking forward to it, I can't wait to just lay it all down!

FREEDOM IS GOOD, AND GOD PROVIDES FREEDOM

Everyone have a great night!  I truly enjoy praying so if you need some prayer for anything please feel free to let me know!

Love You Guys,

Josh